Patrick Catanzariti » Insanity and Randomness

Divorcing a zombie

Patrick Catanzariti — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 02:55:43 +0000

Stranger: WHY DID U CHEAT ON ME U DIRTBAG? SHE’S MY SISTER! THATS IT I WANT A DIVORCE
Me: because your hunger for human flesh just doesn’t do it for me anymore
Stranger: but im a vampire. what do u expecT?
Me: you aren’t a vampire, you’re a zombie.
Me: vampires don’t eat human flesh you tool.
Me: what are you a twilight fan?
Stranger: sorry kinda tired
Me: maybe that’s why i left you.
Stranger: HELL NO
Stranger: i hate taht crap
Me: good
Me: now get out of my omegle.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Guess Who – Game Two

Patrick Catanzariti — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 09:49:00 +0000

New person, didn’t get to the end but was pretty entertaining for us both it seems.

Stranger: heya
Me: hi
Me: do you have brown hair?
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: why??
Me: yes or no only
Me: do you have brown eyes?
Stranger: haha. yeah
Me: are you wearing a hat?
Stranger: nup
Stranger: who wears hats anymore?
Me: your turn
Stranger: hehee
Stranger: are you a guy?
Me: yes
Stranger: cool
Stranger: how old are you?
Me: only yes or no questions!
Stranger: haha..
Stranger: are you a teenager?
Me: no
Me: my turn
Me: are you a girl?
Stranger: ok?
Stranger: nah. i’m a guy
Me: ok ur turn
Stranger: hehe
Stranger: umm.
Stranger: are you over 20?
Me: no
Me: my turn
Me: do you have a beard?
Stranger: haha. no ::P
Stranger: i like this game
Stranger: this is sooo fun!!
Me: ur turn
Stranger: are you under 13?
Me: no
Me: do you have a moustache?
Stranger: no
Stranger: i wish..
Stranger: ook.. how do you work??
Stranger: you’re not under 13.. you’re not a teenager. and you’re not over 20??
Stranger: you have to fit into one of those!!
Me: lol i don’t
Stranger: O.o !
Me: think my friend.
Stranger: i don’t understand!!!
Stranger: are you serious??
Stranger: hmm…
Stranger: nooo.. how does that work?
Stranger: hmm…
Stranger: O.o
Stranger: o.O
Me: think.
Stranger: so you’re not under 13… therefore you’re over 13
Stranger: am i right so far?
Me: yes
Stranger: ook.. you’re not a teenager. so you’re over 19?
Stranger: that’s right?
Me: yes
Stranger: but you’re not over 20??
Me: no
Stranger: you’re 20?
Stranger: exactly?
Me: yes
Stranger: >.<
Me: my turn
Stranger: stupid logic
Stranger: haha.. i love you
Me: does your name start with a P?
Stranger: hehe no
Stranger: you’re by far the most interesting guy i’ve spoken to on here
Me: y thankyou
Stranger: so my turn?
Me: yes, i got it wrong so its ur turn
Stranger: oooh…
Stranger: ok
Stranger: do you have a girlfriend?
Me: no
Stranger: ok
Me: i don’t see how that will help you but no
Me: does your name start with an S?
Stranger: no
Stranger: do you have a boyfriend?
Me: no
Me: do you have a horse named greg?
Stranger: hahaha!
Stranger: no
Stranger: unfortunately
Stranger: would you like to keep talking after this convo?
Me: yes
Stranger: AWESOME!!!
Stranger: on msn?
Me: no
Stranger: awww
Stranger: ok
Stranger: your turn
Me: do you have a monocle?
Stranger: lol.. no
Stranger: do you want to talk through email?
Me: no
Me: does your name start with a C?
Stranger: ok
Stranger: no
Stranger: do you want to talk through some internet medium?
Me: yes
Stranger:
Stranger: umm.. you don’t mean omegle do you?
Me: yes

The game didn’t get further than that because I had to go eat dinner. Maybe we’ll continue the game some day if (and only if) he finds this blog post.

Guess Who – Game One

Patrick Catanzariti — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 09:35:01 +0000

So… out of nowhere I decided to start playing Guess Who with people on Omegle. Here’s the first game that actually got to the end.

Me: do you have brown hair?
Stranger: Yes
Me: do you have brown eyes?
Stranger: Yes
Me: do you have glasses?
Stranger: No
Me: ok your turn
Stranger: Are you a guy?
Me: yes
Stranger: are you tall?
Me: yes
Stranger: Do you have colored eyes?
Me: gotta be specific.
Me: that’s cheating
Stranger: How?
Stranger: Just yes or no?
Me: gotta say a colour
Me: yes
Stranger: Ooh ok
Stranger: Do you have brown eyes?
Me: yes
Stranger: Ok your turn
Me: its your turn until you get one wrong
Stranger: And I asked you three just like you did
Stranger: Ooooh I see
Stranger: Um, do u play sports?
Me: yes
Me: i don’t see how that will help you but yes.
Stranger: Hahah just curious
Stranger: Are you tan?
Me: yes
Stranger: are you from the u.s?
Me: no
Me: my turn
Stranger: Ok
Me: are you wearing a hat?
Stranger: Does a beanie count?
Me: yes
Stranger: Then yes
Me: don’t give too much away!
Stranger: Sorry!
Me: do you have a moustache?
Stranger: No
Stranger: My turn again
Stranger: Do u have a mustache?
Me: no
Me: my turn
Me: are you a girl?
Stranger: Yes
Me: do you have earrings?
Stranger: yes
Me: ooo
Me: hmmm
Me: are you rachel?
Stranger: No
Stranger: My turn
Stranger: Do u have piercings?
Me: no
Me: my turn
Me: are you megan?
Stranger: No
Stranger: My turn
Stranger: Are you dave?
Me: no
Me: my turn
Me: are you rebecca?
Stranger: Nope
Stranger: Are you conner?
Me: no
Me: are you kayla?
Stranger: No
Stranger: Do you have dimples?
Me: no
Me: my turn
Me: hmmm
Me: are you penny?
Stranger: Eww no
Stranger: Are you gabe?
Me: no
Me: are you jill?
Stranger: No
Stranger: Does your name start with an A?
Me: no
Me: does your name start with an A?
Stranger: No
Stranger: Does your name start with a B?
Me: no, does your name start with a B?
Stranger: No
Stranger: How about a C?
Me: no
Me: C?
Stranger: Yes
Me: is your name Carla?
Stranger: No
Stranger: How about a D?
Me: no
Me: Connie?
Stranger: No
Stranger: a E?
Me: no
Me: caitlin?
Stranger: No, an F?
Me: no
Me: camilla?
Stranger: nope
Stranger: G?
Me: nope
Me: candice?
Stranger: No, H?
Me: no
Me: candy?
Stranger: no, I?
Me: no
Me: cara?
Stranger: No, J?
Me: no
Me: carly?
Stranger: no, K?
Me: no
Me: carmen?
Stranger: No, L?
Me: no
Me: carol?
Stranger: no, M?
Me: no
Me: carrie?
Stranger: No, N?
Me: no
Me: casey?
Stranger: no, O?
Me: no
Me: cassie?
Stranger: No, P?
Me: yes
Stranger: Phil?
Me: no
Me: catherine?
Stranger: No, paul?
Me: no
Me: cathy?
Stranger: no
Stranger: Hmmm
Stranger: Pablo?
Me: no
Me: christina?
Stranger: No
Stranger: Paden?
Me: no
Me: cecilia?
Stranger: No
Stranger: Patrick?
Me: dammit!
Me: you win.
Stranger: Yay!!!!
Me: who were you?
Stranger: I’m cynthia
Me: dammit, i would never have gotten down to cynthia in time.
Me: nothing against your name though, it’s a lovely name

And so ends the first Omegle Guess Who game which got all the way to the end. Also happened to be my first loss. Dam.

The chase

Patrick Catanzariti — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 02:56:29 +0000

Stranger: hi
Me: hey
Me: sorry
Me: don’t mean to bother you
Stranger: …?
Me: but did you see a guy about this high run past?
Stranger: wth?
Me: guess not
Me: sorry
Me: he just took my valuable russian dancing hat
Me: if you see him, could you let me know?
Stranger: how would i see him?
Me: oh sorry
Me: i didn’t know
Me: well, if you hear him maybe?
Stranger: russian dancing hat?
Stranger: sure
Me: ok thanks
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Stop

Patrick Catanzariti — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 02:40:15 +0000

Me: stop
Stranger: hammer time
Me: yes!
Me: *high five*
Stranger: whoop
You have disconnected.

A whole new world

Patrick Catanzariti — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 02:11:06 +0000

Stranger: hello
Me: hi, i can show you the world
Stranger: Shining shimmering splended
Me: tell me princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?
Stranger: I can open you eyes
Me: take you wonder by wonder
Stranger: over side ways and under on a magic carpet ride
Me: A whole new world!
Stranger: A new fantastic point of view
Me: No one to tell us no
Stranger: or say we’re only dreaming
Me: *cough* or where to go
Me: or say we’re only dreaming
Me: a whole new wooooorrrlllllldd
Stranger: A dazzling place I never knew
Me: but when i’m way up here
Stranger: It’s crystal clear
Me: that now i’m in a whole new world with you
Stranger: Now i’m in a whole new world with you
Me: Unbelievable sights
Stranger: indescirbalble feelings
Me: soaring, tumbling, freewheeling
Me: through an endless diamond sky
Stranger: A whole new world
Me: Don’t you dare close your eyes…
Stranger: A hundred thousand things to see
Me: hold your breath it gets better…
Stranger: I’m like a shooting star
Me: i’ve come so far
Stranger: I can’t go back to where I used to be
Me: A whole new woooorrrllllldd
Stranger: Every turn a surprise
Me: with new horizons to pursue
Stranger: Every moment red-letter
Me: i’ll chase them anywhere
Stranger: There’s time to spare
Me: let me share this whole new world with you
Stranger: A whole new world
Me: that’s where we’ll be
Stranger: A thrilling chase
Me: A wondrous place
Stranger: For you and me
Me:
Stranger: epic
Me: i love you jasmine.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

An idea

Patrick Catanzariti — Sun, 04 Apr 2010 06:41:09 +0000

Stranger: hello. 19 m us. looking to chat with a girl. up for anything.
Me: anything?
Stranger: sure
Stranger: what do you have in mind
Me: well, what wont u do?
Stranger: haha. why dont u run an idea by me?
Stranger: im pretty open
Me: ok
Me: are you hot?
Me: do u have abs?
Stranger: i like to think so.
Stranger: umm no six pack, but toned
Me: good! This is perfect
Me: how would u like to hear a little offer?
Stranger: go for it
Me: for only $199 plus postage and handling you could get the ab king pro, it works both ur upper and lower abs and obliques and takes only minutes a day
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Something special.

Patrick Catanzariti — Sun, 04 Apr 2010 04:39:32 +0000

Stranger: hi
Me: hey
Stranger: how are you?
Me: im great, how r u?
Stranger: good
Me: that’s just awesome to hear
Me: you know, all day i’ve been sitting here going “I wonder how stranger is today”
Me: it’s been driving me nuts
Me: but finally
Stranger: lol
Me: FINALLY
Me: i know.
Me: you’re good.
Me: i can rest easy
Me: thank you my friend
Stranger: ok ok
Me: can I hug you?
Stranger: i guess so
Me: *hugs*
Me: now, we’re best buds right?
Stranger: yeah
Me: can we go to theme parks and hang out at supermarkets?
Stranger: supermarkets?
Me: i can totally see us at aisle 3 just chillin
Me: you, me, a few packets of syrup
Stranger: odd choice of venue
Me: i thought you loved the supermarket…
Me: what’s happened to you?
Me: you’ve changed man/woman.
Me: we used to be best friends back a few seconds ago
Me: then you went and changed man/woman.
Stranger: i know
Me: can’t we go back to how we were?
Stranger: you just put so much pressure on me
Me: back in those days
Stranger: i couldn’t deal with it
Me: it was pressure out of love dammit OUT OF LOVE
Stranger: you couldn’t accept me as i was
Stranger: no
Me: i didn’t have the guts to say it until now but I LOVE YOU
Stranger: so you tried to change me
Me: i always have
Me: you are my reason for living
Stranger: i really don’t know
Me: i love you how you are
Me: id NEVER want to change you
Stranger: then why do you drag me to supermarkets
Stranger: you know i hate them
Me: i love everything about you, even that gross thing you do with the lawnmower
Me: EVERYTHING
Me: i even love your hate of supermarkets
Stranger: lol
Me: you are my world.
Stranger: sigh
Stranger: fine
Me: *stares into your eyes*
Stranger: i believe you
Me: is this a moment?
Me: should we?
Me: you know?
Stranger: i guess so
Me: *leans in*
Stranger: that would be appropriate
Stranger: leans
Me: *licks your cheek*
Me: oh man/woman… i’ve wanted to do that for so long…
Me: you complete me.
Me: lets lie down together in the sun forever
Me: whispering sweet nothings
Stranger: this is the strangest convo i’ve had in a long time
Me: embrace me.
Stranger: oh dear
Stranger: you always were the needy one
Me: me? you’re the one who took me to see your parents one WEEK after we met!
Me: and remember that necklace you bought me?
Stranger: yes, i’ve been meaning to tell you
Stranger: i found that on the floor
Stranger: its a gaudy fake
Me: you WHAT?
Me: that’s it.
Me: we’re over.
Stranger: haha
Stranger: wait
Me: i loved you.
Stranger: just wait a minute
Me: we had it all.
Me: remember that time when we hugged?
Stranger: my love for you exists
Stranger: it EXISTS DAMMIT
Me: remember when i passionately licked your face?
Stranger: you’re just so obsessed with these transient material things
Me: it all means nothing now
Stranger: first supermarkets
Me: NOTHING.
Stranger: now jewlery
Me: your words are daggers in my heart.
Stranger: i don’t care about these things, i just comply because they make you happy
Stranger: don’t you understand?
Me: my now COLD ice cream aisle heart.
Me: how could you do this to someone?
Me: don’t you care?
Me: DON’T YOU CARE???
Stranger: you’re breaking my heart!
Stranger: i have a heart too!
Me: you did this to yourself
Me: to US
Me: we’ll never be what we were
Me: NEVER
Stranger: can we just talk about this
Me: it’s too late
Stranger: i’ll give you a moment to calm down
Me: i… i can’t even look at you right now
Me: just get out.
Me: just GET OUT
Stranger: *grabs your hand*
Me: *pushes you away*
Me: GET OUT!!!!
Stranger: i’m outside now
Stranger: i’m trying to call you
Me: stay away from me
Me: you heartless monster!
Me: you never cared
Me: NEVER
Stranger: i’m sitting outside the door
Stranger: dying inside
Me: get off my lawn before I call the police
Me: and stay the @#^* away from my lawnmower!
Stranger: i can’t bring myself to get up off the floor
Me: GET OUT
Me: AND AWAY
Me: FOREVER
Stranger: hey you keep lawnmower out of this
Me: that’s it.
Me: i’m leaving.
Me: for good.
Me: next plane, i’m on it.
Stranger: fine
Me: you think you’re too good for me?
Me: too good for our supermarkets?
Stranger: no
Stranger: no
Me: then too bad.
Me: you’re out.
Me: your loss.
Me: i’m going straight to @^#$ing greece.
Stranger: no i realize that we never had anything in common
Stranger: this whole relationship has been a waste of time
Me: a WASTE OF TIME?
Stranger: yes
Me: that is all I am to you?
Stranger: i said it
Me: A WASTE OF @%&#ing time?
Stranger: you’re so self-obsessed
Me: *bursts out the door and drives away*

¡unɟ ɹǝʇʇǝן uʍop ǝpısdn

Patrick Catanzariti — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 13:33:22 +0000

˙sʇɥƃıןɥƃıɥ ǝɥʇ ǝɹɐ ʍoןǝq ˙ʇxǝʇ uʍop ǝpısdn ƃuısn ǝןdoǝd oʇ pǝʞןɐʇ puɐ (ǝʇʇǝןnoɹ ʇɐɥɔ pǝsɐq-ʇxǝʇ ɐ ɥɔnɯ ʎʇʇǝɹd) ǝןƃǝɯo oʇuo ʇuǝʍ ı os ‘ʇı ɥʇıʍ ʇuǝɯıɹǝdxǝ oʇ pǝpıɔǝp ı ‘ɹǝʍod sıɥʇ ɥʇıʍ uǝɥʇ ˙ʇxǝʇ uʍop ǝpısdn ǝʞɐɯ oʇ ʍoɥ oʇuı pǝʞooן ı ‘q uoɯıs ןɐuoıʇɐɹıdsuı ǝɥʇ oʇ sʞuɐɥʇ

Translation: Thanks to the inspirational Simon B, I looked into how to make upside down text. Then with this power, I decided to experiment with it, so I went onto Omegle (pretty much a text-based chat roulette) and talked to people using upside down text. Below are the highlights.

ǝuo ɹǝqɯnu uoıʇɐsɹǝʌuoɔ
Stranger: hi
You: ¿ןsɐ ¡ıɥ
Stranger: hello
Stranger: wats that
You: ¿ʇɐɥʍ s,ʇɐɥʍ
Stranger: gandu
Stranger: mother @#$!er
Stranger: screw u……!@#hole
(Censoring added by me)

oʍʇ ɹǝqɯnu uoıʇɐsɹǝʌuoɔ

Stranger: hiee
You: ¿ןsɐ ¡ıɥ
Stranger: ?
Stranger: ??
You: ¿ןsɐ
Stranger: ???
Stranger: ????
Stranger: ?????
You: ¿¿¿¿
You: ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿
Stranger: ??????
You: ¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿
Stranger: ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

ǝǝɹɥʇ ɹǝqɯnu uoıʇɐsɹǝʌuoɔ
You: ¿ןsɐ ¡ıɥ
Stranger: hey
Stranger: m220
Stranger: m20
You: ɐıןɐɹʇsnɐ ɯ 02 ɯı
Stranger: what ru doing
You: noʎ oʇ ƃuıʇʇɐɥɔ
Stranger: @%#^ ur self
You: ˙ɹıs puıʞ uoıʇɔɐǝɹɹǝʌo ʎɹɐssǝɔǝuun ɥɥɥɥn
Stranger: reply ^@$ hole
You: ˙pıp ı
(Censoring added by me)

ɹnoɟ ɹǝqɯnu uoıʇɐsɹǝʌuoɔ
You: ¿ןsɐ ¡ıɥ
Stranger: hi
Stranger: 15 f europe u?
You: ɐıןɐɹʇsnɐ ɯ 02 ɯı
Stranger: cool
Stranger: why is you text up-down
You: ɐıןɐɹʇsnɐ uı ɯı
Stranger: ¿pןɹoʍ ǝɥʇ ɟo ǝpıs ɹǝɥʇo ǝɥʇ ‘ʍouʞ noʎ
You: ǝɹǝɥ uʍop ǝpısdn sı ƃuıɥʇʎɹǝʌǝ
Stranger: haha
Stranger: ok
Stranger: what u up to?
(Continues from here till I forget to put my text upside down)

ǝʌıɟ ɹǝqɯnu uoıʇɐsɹǝʌuoɔ
Stranger: Heyy
You: ¿ןsɐ ¡ıɥ
Stranger: 15 f aus.. That’s pretty kool
You: ¡sʞuɐɥʇ
You: ɐıןɐɹʇsnɐ ɯ 02 ɯı
Stranger: How’d ya do it
You: http://www.sevenwires.com/play/UpsideDownLetters.html
You: ¡unɟ ɟo sʇoן s,ʇı
Stranger: Kool!
Stranger: And your 20 hardto beloeve
You: sɹɐǝʎ ʎɯ puoʎǝq ǝɹnʇɐɯ ‘ɐɥ ɐɥ
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

xıs ɹǝqɯnu uoıʇɐsɹǝʌuoɔ
You: ¿ןsɐ ¡ıɥ
Stranger: hi
Stranger: i dont understand wut is dat
You: ¿uoıʇɐɔoן/xǝs/ǝƃɐ ‘ʍouʞ noʎ
Stranger: ohk
Stranger: 14/f/pluto
Stranger: hby
You: ɐıןɐɹʇsnɐ ɯ 02 ɯı
Stranger: kool
Stranger: do u have msn
You: ¿¿¿oʇnןd uo usɯ ǝʌɐɥ ʎǝɥʇ
Stranger: yepper, we’re the smartest
Stranger: and we’re always flyin
Stranger: our food is rocks
You: ǝɹǝɥʇ ʇno soɥɔʎsd ǝɯos ǝɹɐ ǝɹǝɥʇ ‘ɐǝpı pooƃ ɐ s,ʇɐɥʇ ‘ʇǝɹɔǝs uoıʇɐɔoן ɹnoʎ ƃuıdǝǝʞ noʎ ǝɹıɯpɐ ı ‘ɐɥ ɐɥ
You: ˙pǝʞɔoɹ pooɟ ʎɯ ɥsıʍ ı ‘ǝɯosǝʍɐ
Stranger: i noe right, i’ll remember u when i take over the world, and tell ma friend so they dont catch u
You: ǝɯ ǝq ןן,ʇɐɥʇ ‘uʍop ǝpısdn ƃuıʞןɐʍ ʎnƃ ǝɥʇ ɹoɟ ʞooן ʇsnɾ ‘pooƃ

uǝʌǝs ɹǝqɯnu uoıʇɐsɹǝʌuoɔ
Okay, well this was actually the most enjoyable conversation of the night but irritatingly when the conversation ended I was still typing and it skipped to the next person without giving me a chance to copy paste it in! It was basically what I’m claiming to be the first upside down “oy oy oy!” response ever made. Here is a re-enactment of that moment:

American girl: aussie aussie aussie!
Loser guy doing upside down chat to everyone: ¡ʎo ʎo ʎo
After further conversation I also discovered that she has an outback hat which looks insanely better than mine. Totally need to get myself a much cooler looking outback hat now:

The American girl with the much cooler outback hat

Overall, I was really surprised. As expected, quite a few people disconnected straight away when I asked for their asl (age, sex/gender, location for those not familiar with the chat world) in upside down text. Surprisingly, I had conversations with at least eight people in upside down text. Some didn’t even mention it. Some eventually got sick of upside down text, asked me to stop and then got bored and left. Others like the American girl above put up with it for quite a while!

¡ɥƃnoɥʇ ʇuǝɯıɹǝdxǝ unɟ ɐ ʎןǝʇıuıɟǝp sɐʍ ʇı